Funny Quotes | Funny Sayings and Short Funny Quotes
“After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?” - Steven Wright
“She's so aggravating, she'd give an aspirin a headache.” - Frank Hughes
“Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?” - Dick Clark
“I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” - Steven Wright
“You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.” - Jay Leno
More Funny Quotes...
Funny quotes and funny sayings are a simple way to put a smile on someones face. Laughter and humor are an international language of good feeling, and sharing a funny saying or quotation with others is guaranteed to put a lasting smile on their face. Explore some of these funny quotes and share one with someone else today and leave them with a smile on their face.
“When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.” - George Bernard Shaw“It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.” - Mae West
“A man sufficiently gifted with humor is in small danger of succumbing to flattering delusions about himself, because he cannot help perceiving what a pompous ass he would become if he did.” - Konrad Lorenz
“Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.” - Grenville Kleiser
“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.” - William Makepeace Thackeray
“Good humor makes all things tolerable.” - Henry Ward Beecher
“ Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.” - James Langston Hughes
“A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it, never in the tongue Of him that makes it.” - William Shakespeare
“A joke is a very serious thing.” - Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
“A man without mirth is like a wagon without springs, in which one is caused disagreeably to jolt by every pebble over which it turns.” - Henry Ward Beecher
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” - Will Rogers
“Good humor isn’t a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice.” - Dr. David Seabury
“He thought he was a wit, and he was half right.” - Henri Arnold
“His boots shone splendidly, in contrast to his intellect, which did not.” - Joseph Wright Alsop
“Humor is a reminder that no matter how high a throne one sits on, one is sitting on one's butt.” - unknown
“Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man’s superiority to all that befalls him.” - Romain Gary
“Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity.” - James Thurber
“Humor is just another defense against the universe.” - Mel Brooks
“Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world — like grace — and shines on everybody.” - Garrison Keillor
“Humor is the only test of gravity and gravity of humor.” - Anthony Ashley Cooper
“In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?” - Warren Hutcherson
“Jokes are generally honest. Complete solemnity is always dishonest.” - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
“Keep humor alive and you stay alive longer too.” - Nellie Curtiss
“Overheard in a brokerage: I worry about economists who are so young that they think the Great Depression was ended by Prozac.” - unknown
“The most perfect humor and irony is generally quite unconscious.” - Samuel Butler, the younger
“Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.” - James Langston Hughes
“It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.” - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
“No man who has wrestled with a self-adjusting card table can ever be quite the man he once was.” - James Thurber
“Success doesn’t require staying awake nights — just days.” - unknown
“When humor goes, there goes civilization.” - Erma Bombeck
